Suicide
Leanne Drain

They told me to live, though I do not wish to continue.
They told me to pull myself together and be strong.
They told me to pursue my life’s achievements.
They told me it would get better if a light existed in the well of hell.
They told me I have a lot to love for a loving family and a bright future ahead.
They told me I would be okay and that life would work out.
They told me that I could reach heights and go on mountain hikes.
They told me that my life is more important.
They told me not to be selfish.
I want to think of others and ensure I am worthy of life.
They told me Grandad would be disappointed in me.
Now let me tell you the truth
I am afraid the light switch will run out
And I will be a dead battery with no energy.
The truth is scary. The truth penetrates my soul.
Without sounding too gloomy, I have witnessed terrible things
The past is a mask I keep wearing, ruining my future self.
I am lost without any direction that leads to heaven.
I need to feel alive again.
To be with Grandad again.
I need the afterlife, for this life is too big for me.
I am alone, don’t you see?
I am frightened for myself.
Frightened for my family
I am frightened by the truth of it all.
I am going to die
We all are.
I fear death, but I also greet it familiarly.
Though you said time will heal, the process will still be rectified.
I don’t see my life corrected; it’s not grammar. There is no word to say now other than farewell.