Last Night’s Cigarette
Nathan Perrin

Woke up this morning
next to my ashtray on
my nightstand, smoldering.

Thought of last night,
in the depths of despair
and the wreckage of me.

Taking a walk an hour later
down the street. Chilly, quiet.
No one is up yet.

Pass by a church with a cross
on the lawn, towering over me humbly.
It’s large, wooden, plain.

Memories hit me.
Times lost and forgotten,
back when I felt alive..

Christ waking up and walking
out of the tomb. Resurrection.
Preacher from my childhood said it.

Fumbling in my shirt pocket,
found a half-finished cigarette
from last night.

Thought of Jesus in the dark.
Three days of long sleep after
a violent nightmare. Then he awoke.

Maybe it’s something like that.
Maybe tomorrow I can wake up,
Maybe all is not yet lost.

I throw away last night’s cigarette.
I pray for better, brighter mornings.
I have hope I can believe.

At least for today
I can think tomorrow
will be better.